


Pain

by ChokolatteJedi



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Angst, Brother Feels, Episode Tag, Episode: s02e15 Deceptive Little Parasite, Gen, Pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-13
Updated: 2017-05-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:21:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22858459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChokolatteJedi/pseuds/ChokolatteJedi
Summary: Amenadiel comes to a realization
Kudos: 32





	Pain

Amenadiel drew his gaze away from the sword’s glory, only to catch sight of Lucifer’s face. In mom’s litany of possible emotional triggers, Amenadiel would have never guessed that it would be true, emotional pain that did it. Once he would have said that Lucifer the fallen, the slacker, wasn’t even capable of feeling that kind of pain.

But pain - the kind of soul-wrenching, wing-decaying, _falling_ pain that he had once seen in a mirror - was undeniably what Lucifer was feeling right now. Their conversation from before slammed back to Amenadiel.

He and mom had gone back over the moment when she claimed to have seen the blade ignite. Both had thought it was anger that Lucifer had been feeling. But now, and after everything that had happened to Chloe… Luci’s words rang through Amenadiel’s mind.

_Home? For you, maybe. Neither of you understand, do you? You never have. Hell wasn't home, and Heaven was... well... hell! The only place I've ever felt wanted or respected…_

Lucifer had been right, even without knowing it. Neither of them had understood what he was telling them in that moment.

_This is my home._

A home they had both tried to rip him away from.

“That’s it? You must not be feeling enough!” His mother’s accusation tore through Amenadiel’s revelation and he noticed the blade had extinguished. Once again she was so wrong about Lucifer: he looked more spent than their sister’s blade.

“Trust me. That’s it. That’s all I’ve got!” Lucifer managed to say.

Amenadiel could believe that. Even disregarding the whole “I never lie” thing, he had seen his brother’s face just now. He didn’t have anything left to give to the sword.

“Try harder!”

He had to intervene; he couldn’t watch her do this. “Mom! That’s enough!” If she tore down Lucifer’s walls now he might completely burn out.

“I’m _not_ broken. The sword must be.” Lucifer insisted.

But Amenadiel knew the truth, even as he stepped in to play mediator between them. His brother - his little brother - was indeed that broken. Broken enough to actually make the sword work. A year ago, before his own fall, Amenadiel couldn’t have made the sword work. Even tonight, he might not be able to call it as strongly as Lucifer had. Mom had been wrong about his reason for marrying Candy, but she hadn’t been far off with her guess. Lucifer was a deeply damaged soul, really and truly broken.

And they were all partly to blame. Mom. Dad. Uriel. Even himself. They had all helped to break Lucifer, to make him feel that much pain.

After all, Luci never lied...

_I’m not broken._

Except to himself.


End file.
